5 Homiletic Tips for Public Speakers

Here, on the campus of the Diocese of Green Bay, we have been blessed with several effective homilists over the last six years. It cannot be overstated that lay people today really look forward to good homilies. After all, many of the rites and gestures in the Mass are no longer understood within the biblical and liturgical tradition from which they originated. As such, aspects that precede the Mass or are a part of the Mass itself i.e. hospitality, hymns and homilies, have taken on a great deal of importance. In fact, these three things often influences whether or not a person continues their spiritual journey with a parish.

All of that aside, it is true, nevertheless, that lay people can learn from good homilists; especially if their employment or ministry requires them to do a lot of public speaking. As for my job responsibilities, I provide workshops and give talks for both parish leaders and parishioners. Yet, my speaking skills are always a work in progress. Indeed, sometimes I come close to hitting the mark; but more often than not I walk away from my presentation wishing I had done things a little differently. If truth be told, I've been doing public speaking for a while and I have not settled in to a grove that I am happy with. This is why I welcome feedback from others- positive or negative.

Two Good Homilists

Wanting to improve in this area, I sought out the advice of two good homilists that I work with; the names of which I will omit in this article. But I wanted to know what their secret sauce was. That is, I was curious to learn how they routinely delivered good sermons (or homilies) time and time again. With these two priest, in fact, I do not recall a time when daydreaming got the best of me during their sermons. When they preach, I'm tuned in!

Eventually, their counsel resulted in five total bullet points that I have used for my own public speaking purposes. From time to time I forget to follow through on their advice; but I make it my aim to revisit these tips from time to time.  Here are the five tips that have been helpful to me:

1. One Singular Point

I was told by one of the priest's where I work that before any sermon he gives, he sits down to write out one main point he wishes to communicate. He went on to say to me in so many words, "If I can't write down one main point I want communicate, how can I expect others to remember my sermon?"

Now, if you are a big picture person like myself, or theologically minded, or detail-challenged, then this discipline can be arduous. It can be like trying to stand at the bottom of the deep end of the pool with the upward pull to float to the surface. Author of the book, Divine Renovation, Fr. James Mallon made a similar point. He argues that theologically minded leaders tend to be "generalists". Their message tends to be general or abstract; lacking that one singular point people can grab hold off. Theological and spiritual truths, especially, need to be anchored in a tangible lesson or a singular point.

One way to help ensure this focus and intelligibility of your presentation is to write down the purpose statement before you begin mapping it out. 

2. Begin with a Story

Never assume that people are interested in the topic you are speaking about. They have the freedom to tune out. Yet, if we are aware that our natural default as human beings is to communicate or provide to others what we, ourselves, love, we can then resist three unfounded assumptions about our audience: 1. That they are interested in what we are interested in. 2. That they are asking the same questions we are asking. 3. And that they understand insider jargon we use with our colleagues.

What helps to overcome these assumptions, is knowing that the main point of our talk- especially if it is spiritual or theological -needs an onramp. Onramps or introductions that appeal to our audience's interests or affections draws them into the main point we wish to address. This is why stories are universally loved and listened to. This is why three out of the first five books of the Old Testament and the four Gospels are composed of stories. 

The fact is that people instinctively tune into stories. Even analogies and references to everyday life serves as effective attention-getters. Regardless, listeners in our post-Christian world cannot immediately enter into the higher realm of spiritual truths. For them to be open to these truths, we need to help them by making reference to their world; especially in the introduction. 

3. The Challenge

Every story has a plot. And every plot involves some challenge or crisis in it. Popular books, movies and plays depend on some crisis to overcome. The bible and in particular, the, Gospel, is no different. Challenges are not only woven into the Gospel stories, but they are integral to the teachings of Christ. Take for instance the parable of the sower. Three out of the four possible outcomes of the farmer's scattered seeds  (i.e. seeds landing on a path, on rocky soil, among thorns) involve challenges and dangers. Just the same, the main point of a talk- whether it be an insight or action item -invariably has challenges associated with it. Therefore, for a successful implementation of your main point, help your audience by addressing the challenge to that point.

4. The Solution

The natural question to ask at this point is: What is the solution to the challenge you just detailed? It is easy to complain or limit your presentation to the problems at hand. But one of the things that I have learned by working at the Diocese of Green Bay is to be prepared to provide the solution to any problem I wish to address. As for giving a presentation, by providing a user-friendly solution after having addressed the challenge, we are giving the solution the last word.  Having communicated the solution, we are not leaving the audience with an abstract or speculative idea. Instead, the main point of our talk should involve an actionable item; something that your listening audience can put into practice that day.

St. Francis de Sales, a 17th century Catholic bishop, like any other cleric in his day, enjoyed positive feedback from his congregation regarding his sermons. But he admitted that he was not flattered when they said, "O That was a beautiful sermon." Rather, the compliments that delighted him the most were: "I will do something!"

5. The Story Again

Finally, just as a story can serve as onramp or introduction to the main point of the presentation, some reference to that same story can be equally valuable as an off-ramp. In fact, when it is done well, it brings a nice closure to the talk.

These five simple points are, in part, why I look forward to hearing sermons at daily Mass from the priests who work on the diocesan campus.  Not only am I inspired by their well-delivered talks (i.e. homilies, sermons) for my own spiritual growth, but I use these five tips to constantly refine my public speaking.  

Social Media Boundaries for Children: 4 Tips

Jesus came to turn the hearts of parents toward their children and the hearts of children toward their parents (cf. Luke 1:17; Malachi 3:23-24). But social media, although good in itself, can sometimes get in the way of this saving grace. Not too long ago I was talking to my neighbor while doing some yard work. We did something that few neighbors do these days: we actually talked to each other. Imagine that!

My neighbor happens to be the father of two teenage daughters.  And off the cuff, he confided to me that his daughters rarely give him more than a one or two-word answer to his questions when he comes home from work; this, because they are spending an unlimited time on their i-phones.

During the conversation, I had wondered why he didn't leverage his parental authority to improve that situation. In fact, he seemed resigned to his inability to do anything about it. In any case, I realized that neighbors are not the only ones that rarely talk to each nowadays. Face-to-face conversations are also a rarity in many households between parents and children.

Having witnessed the disengagement of many young people from adult conversation- not just at people's houses but in public restaurants -I resolved to spare my family of this dysfunctional pattern. Indeed, this is a ditch I am willing to die in. 

THE VALUE OF BOUNDARIES

Ultimately, the functionality and contentment of a family rests, in large part, on how well they communicate with one another and with God. And as for children and adolescents, effective communication skills rehearsed and developed at home shapes how they will interact with people in their adulthood years. But learning the value of face-to-face interaction cannot be done without firm, clear and consistent boundaries.

I can only share with the reader what seems to be working in my family. There are four boundaries principles and practices that my wife and I try to enforce at home with our children. To be sure, providing boundaries for social media is always a work in progress. Such progress is marked by  setbacks and going back to the drawing board. Yet, we don't give-in or give-up. To do so would be too costly for our children. 

BOUNDARY SUGGESTIONS

Below are suggestions for creating social media boundaries for your children. We have found them to be useful in our household. Hopefully, they will be useful in yours.

1. Privilege, Not a Right

First, it was important for my wife and I to first communicate to our kids that i-pads, i-phones, and even computers are a privilege; not a right. In fact, from time to time, reminders are issued to them that "their" gadgets are really our gadgets. After all, we not only paid for the devices, but we continue to pay the bills to use those devices (i.e. internet, phone plans). Within this clearly communicated context, boundaries and other disciplinary measures are  more easily applied.

2. The Main Level

Second, all gadgets, computers, etc. stay on the main level. The truth is that the internet, especially without parental oversight, is a wide open door to the world. As most parents are willing to concede, there are some things in the world that children and teens are not mature enough to properly assimilate. Over exposure to adult content compromises both innocence and impedes maturity. In other words, growing up too fast is often the antithesis of growing up the right way.

Furthermore, it wasn't too long ago that the social life of teens was confined to the school, sporting venues, their friends houses etc. To an extent, teenagers were able to leave the drama of their social life at these different places when it was time to go home. Today, however, a young boy or girl is inclined to constantly carry this drama around in their hand; even at home.  Just a decade ago, when things got tough at school, a child's home used to be a refuge; a place where one's social life could be put in perspective. The question is: Is your home still a place where the social drama of your children's lives can be left at the door?

3. Time-Limits

With moderation comes time-limits. If truth be told, being overstimulated by social media can cause depression, anxiety, attention deficits and communication breakdown in both children and adults.  There can be unintended consequences with overexposure to social media; the effects of which are difficult to trace back to their cause. 

Playing video games on X-box, using the computer and even texting friends are all good things. Yet, it ceases to be good when our children can no longer walk away from these things without constantly thinking about them. Time-limits can be helpful in this respect. 

4. Adulting with Adults

Lastly, dinner time with family and adult time with company are good "adulting" opportunities for children.  "Adulting" is a relatively new term to describe the successful transition from adolescence to emerging-adulthood. Yet, this transition is impeded when children and teens are allowed to retreat in the corner and play with their gadgets; this, when their parents host social gatherings with other adults. 

Often, the result from this type of social disengagement is that a discomfort level is developed when such children and teenagers are required to interact with adults outside of their households. Sustained conversations, eye-contact, and reading non-verbal cues has become a real issue among youth. Corporations, universities and even the U.S. military are having to retrain young adults on these basic skills. 

This is why social media boundaries are so important within family structures. Such boundaries affirm the inherent good in social media to their children while also affirming the higher good in face-to-face conversations. 

CONCLUDING THOUGHTS

Like my neighbor who struggles to communicate with his daughters, parents want what is best for their children. They want their children to thrive as they emerge into adulthood. 

As for Christian parents, they want their children to eventually make a decision to follow Jesus. Yet, if children are not talking to their parents, chances are they are not talking to God. Indeed, effective communication skills rehearsed and developed at home shapes not only how they will interact with people in their adulthood years, but how they are currently interacting with God. 

If truth be told, the more parents and children engage in face-to-face conversations, the more their hearts are turned to one another. This "turning of hearts" between parents and their children provides that necessary foundation of faith for the next generation!

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"Lo, I will send you Elijah, the prophet, Before the day of the LORD comes, the great and terrible day, to turn the hearts of the fathers to their children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers." 

Malachi 3:23-24